marauders4evr:

quafflewaffles:

marauders4evr:

Man being passive aggressive requires some sheer improvisation. I feel like if he was real and around, MacGyver would be so proud of me and the other passive aggressive millennials.

I was on the subway yesterday and some soccer mom pushes past me with her teen nervously walking after and the mom throws herself into the wheelchair accessible seat and the daughter’s like, “Mom…” and she snaps, “Yeah I know, I’m not getting stuck in here, we’re sitting by the door.” 

So I’m sitting there in the middle of the car, facing this woman in this seat like, “Well, shit, obviously I gotta be passive aggressive but what can I put together in the ten seconds it’s gonna take for her to see me? What do I have at my disposal? Orange juice? I have…orange juice? …Orange juice?” So if you were on the A yesterday afternoon and you spotted a cripple slowly drinking some Tropicana while staring down an increasingly uncomfortable blonde lady, that was me fighting for our rights the only way I knew how.

Please teach me your ways! I have a coworker who’s a problem…

Ooh okay here we go:

This is assuming that you’re in a place where you don’t want to make A Scene and be That Cripple but you do want to make the person feel uncomfortable.

Also note: This is coming from a cis white woman. Your experiences may will differ depending on your level of privilege. 

Step 1.) Position yourself.

You don’t want to completely block someone (that leads to A Scene) but you want them to know that you’re there. Abled people like walking, for whatever reason, so make ‘em walk around you. Timing is crucial here. If someone’s using the only accessible stall with three stall doors open, you have to position yourself before they get out of the stall. If someone’s doing something in a business meeting, you need to do it at that meeting, not 3 hours later, savvy?

Step 2.) Stare. Them. Down.

Self-explanatory.

Step 3.) Do whatever you were doing before but slowly with a bit more drama in the movements. *Raise orange juice, lower orange juice?* No, no. *Raise orange juice slowly, twirl thyne wrist, take a big sip, swallow loudly, do that “Ahh” thing that Coca Cola wants to brand, smack your lips for good measure, and bring it down just as slowly before doing it again three seconds later* Just obnoxious enough for your movements to be out of the ordinary, thus attracting their attention, but not so out of the ordinary that you make A Scene.

Step 4.) Relish in the fact that while you weren’t able to overcome institutional ableism in five minutes, you at least succeeded in making an abled person uncomfortable which is a beautiful accomplishment. 

Step 5.) Water. Rinse. Repeat.