“Does the decaf coffee have caffeine?” What the fuck do you think!
“Can I get a bacon sandwich”
“Which one sir? We have three of them”
“The one with the bacon on it”
Hi my name is Customer McDumbass and I ordered six frappaccinos, all different, during a rush right before my flight is supposed to board and I’m mad my drinks aren’t done yet!
Um. Decaf has caffeine. Chemically decaffeinated somewhat less so than Swiss water process decaf, but it still has enough to fuck with particularly sensitive people.
I mentioned this in the replies but the customer asked because they wanted the coffee with the MOST caffeine and thought decaf was that. It was genuinely stupid I promise
Me: “I have a small cappuccino for Caitlin!”
Customer: “What? But I ordered a large Americano!”
Me: “What’s your name?”
Customer: “Laurie”
I have customers walk away with the wrong drink so often because of that constantly. Like ma’am, you ordered a large frap. Does this medium hot cup really seem like it’s the right beverage for you???????
“And WHY exactly can’t I use my coupon?”
“…because your coupon is for a regular priced item, and your item is on sale.”
“Well, how was I supposed to KNOW it was on sale?”
“Well, ma’am, there was a sign right above it on the shelf–”
“I came in here to SHOP, not to READ.”
Dude I have people with bones coming out of their body asking me if I think it’s an emergency and if they should go to the hospital or wait till it gets better. Like humans are just plain stupid
WHY CANT I USE MY COUPON TWICE???
“Where are my vouchers? I was told I would get them!”
“No sir, you took out business with us two months before the voucher offer started.”
“So I’m going to get my vouchers?”
“No sir, because you started business with us before the offer began.”
“I want my vouchers!”
“You aren’t eligible for any voucher sir.”
“This is ridiculous! I was told I would get vouchers.”
“Actually sir we’ve listened to all the calls, and no one mentioned the vouchers to you.”
“…So when will I get my vouchers?”
B o I
Reblogging for the comic
That “grabbing the obviously wrong drink” thing pissed me off so much when I was a barista. It really made me lose faith in humanity’s intelligence.
Yesterday a woman who ordered a mocha grabbed someone else’s chai, despite names being announced and written on cups, drank half of it, then returned it and yelled at me because it wasn’t her drink. Customers really are that stupid
I work at a hot dog place and I had a couple come in and order two hot dogs. One plain and one with onions and mustard. I labeled them so they knew which was which but they returned a little later complaining that his hot dog didn’t have anything on it even though he ordered it with mustard and onions and that his girlfriends hot dog had mustard and onions instead of being plain….I didn’t even know how to respond.
I once had a woman complaining about how small our clothes were fitting her. She was shopping in the childrens department.
Me, closing up: wow I’m so glad it’s two minutes until I go home
Tourists:
I think peoples love for conflict make them stupider and more annoying customers cause they deadass tryna find a problem to complain about whenever they go somewhere
I’m off work, fuck you for reminding me if the hell we work at
Okay, okay, okay, only adding to this because this ACTUALLY HAPPENED today. In the past three shifts alone, I have had:
A woman allow her small child to crawl into the metal shoe shelving and shove over the shoes
The same little girl went flat on her back and screamed about not wanting to stand up for twenty eight minutes
A man tried to pass his Florida driver’s license as a military ID (and trust me, I checked for the veteran symbols and indicative markings)
An entire family came back into the store to tell me the machine had not given them the 40% off discount. I did the math by hand and it was correct – the man and his family had been multiplying the cost of the shoe by 40% instead of 60%. You pay for 60% of the cost, people.
A man flashed his Costco Employee ID at me and tried to pass it off as a student ID. Apparently I had the word “stupid” written on my forehead that day
A woman came in with a pair of shoes, no box, and no receipt. She attempted to enact a return. I explained that wasn’t feasible. She asked for a manager. My “manager” for the evening has only been in his advanced associate position for seven hours total. He looked terrified. I had to explain to the woman that I needed her to get the box so I could ensure that she received all her money as credit for the return. It was in her best interest, I explained, to return home, get the box, and come back when we had a better sale. She agreed. Apparently this customer is a repeat offender when it comes to aggravating people, and I got her out of the store with no return in less than seven minutes.
A twelve year old girl purchase her own shoes with all the grace and patience of a regent queen, while the elderly woman behind her destroyed the t-shirt section
Someone just poured water on the floor. Just poured it. On. The floor.
This wasn’t recent, but I did stop a customer from stealing by being the most observant human being ever. She and her male counterpart switched shoe boxes. To extend the amount of time they could go without being caught, they switched a total of eight boxes and then went directly to register. Doing so enabled them to purchase expensive shoes by putting them in cheaper boxes. Un-fucking-fortunately for them, I exist. I brought all the boxes up and unswitched them right before their eyes. Common mix-up, I explained. Hard to find where to put things on such a big wall! 😀 The glares they gave me could have burned through Kevlar. I relished in it. I am the motherfucking employee of the year for a reason, you witless scum-slobbering ass-pustule. Suck my exemplary customer service record and choke.
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