lions-dont-barkatmidnight:

glumshoe:

mugwomps:

glumshoe:

I was just talking to a family. The dad used “he” pronouns for me while the mom used “she”. They kept shooting each other sharp glances and subtly shaking their heads.

I said nothing, delighting in the fact that I am not obligated to be helpful in this circumstance.

Shoe…you really are a fae…

My NPC catchphrase when I approach guests is “Hello and welcome! My name is Ship. If you need anything or if you have questions, please let me know!”

A few times, guests have asked questions I could not answer, and jokingly complained that my introduction was a lie because I didn’t immediately know everything they asked me. I have then replied, “Oh, but sir, all I said was to please let me know if you have questions. I never said I would actually answer them.”

A guest: I have a question

Ship: okay. *walks away*