livebloggingmydescentintomadness:

i know the opioid crisis is a big serious problem, but i’m gonna say yet again how aggravated i am that chronic pain patients get punished as a result of it.

i have been completely stable on daily hydrocodone for a solid five years now, but in order to get my prescription, i have to go to my doctor every three months, pee in a cup, and fill out a 14-page form evaluating my pain and medication habits, making me answer questions like “how often have others prevented you from getting what you deserve?” and “how often have you lost your temper and hurt someone?” 

not to mention that pharmacies don’t like stocking the pills, so you may end up driving around to six or seven locations before you find one that will fill your script.

and i’m one of the lucky ones, because i have a fantastic doctor who is understanding and actually prescribes me opioids. countless people are denied their pain medication by doctors who don’t care about their quality of life.

again, i get that there’s a problem. i want people with a drug problem to get help, i truly do. but treating people who need these medications to get out of bed and not be in constant debilitating pain like drug-seeking nuisances doesn’t help anyone.

there was a recent special on the opioid crisis where a man said that all it took was a single post-op pill to make him addicted. one pill. the only thing i find addictive about my medication is the minor relief from my pain, and i dare anyone in my position to feel differently. i have literally never experienced euphoria, i don’t get “high”, it doesn’t make me happy; it doesn’t even actually take away my pain.

the best way i can describe it is that my medication takes the pain that’s screaming in my face and puts it in the next room. i can still hear it and feel it, it’s just a little farther away, and that distance gives me enough breathing room to take a shower or cook a meal. living with chronic pain is exhausting, and the only way i can do anything whatsoever is by taking something that eases that burden for a few hours. 

again, i’m not shitting on people with addiction; i just don’t want to be treated as if i’m doing something bad by needing medication. i don’t want to waste so much precious energy jumping through hoops. i don’t want people to think i’m trying to get high when i’m just trying to stay sane in the face of constant, unrelenting pain. unless you’ve lived with it, you don’t know how hard that is.