horsegirllucretia:

mercuryhomophony:

horsegirllucretia:

mercuryhomophony:

horsegirllucretia:

mercuryhomophony:

horsegirllucretia:

hey in honor of today is halloween heres a friendly reminder about my taakitz au

where kravitz is a vampire and taako backs into him w a car bc he cant see krav in the mirror and then takes him into his house for medical care

and taako is adamant about kravitz definitely being a vampire (because hes so fucking bad at hiding it) and lup just refuses to believe him because, come on, listen to yourself, youre ridiculous

and its just pure slapstick bullshit and stupid tropes and stuff and i love it

bc its slapstick, is people running into/hitting/colliding with kravitz bc of the lack of reflection thing really common?

But Lup just keeps coming up with excuses like “Oh he just came around the corner” or “I wasn’t looking sorry man” etc? because like, What, she’s supposed to believe this man doesn’t have a reflection? Get real, Taako!

taako gets a disposable camera to try and get some dumb indie pictures with this cute boy he ran over met and all of them are just taakos arm around some empty air or a couch or a blurry mall or something and lup spends an hour on the phone with either lucretia or her goddamned therapist trying to figure out why her brother is so dedicated to this stupid prank

also i just had to google the definition of slapstick because im dumb but honestly this is better than my original meaning

“That’s it! He must have stolen my camera, retaken the pictures without Kravitz, and replaced my camera with the new one!”

“Or he’s telling the truth. Why would he go through so much trouble?”

“Luc, you know how petty he can get!”

Lup keeps bringing garlic bread to potlucks, and (vis a vis current TAZ canon) Kravitz being a vampire has no problem with them. That leads to an argument over what’s “real” vampire lore and “bs” vampire lore. 

Neither Taako nor Lup wins. Kravitz wins, because he has Lup-made Garlic Bread.

youre right youre right youre so fucking right

the best thing about this is that at some point we would get a scene of “hey wait can you eat that? i thought you were allergic.” “what? why would i be allergic to garlic bread?” “…are you. not a vampire??” “hmmmm????????”

now my question is – is Kravitz upfront about being a vampire to Taako, or is Taako like “oh don’t go in there, I left the curtain open + the suns comin in, I’ll get it in just a sec” and Krav is like “Ah. Yes, because the Sun! Is bad for… my complexion. Thank you Taako. For considering my complexion.”

Also Taako’s diet undergoes a Significant Change as he starts eating more iron and protein so that he can get that Good Sexy Vampire Bite happening

i honestly think kravitz is just a very bad liar. like, taako goes “oh okay so he doesnt show up in mirrors, he avoids merle after church services, he dresses like a slightly more dapper marceline… thats a vamp, alright” cause of his signed twilight box set and kravitz is just clinging so tightly to his last little shreds of plausible deniability.

also, the neck scars and the lack of detectable heartbeat were definite clues, i think, considering the fact that kravitz got hit by a fucking car and healed up very quickly but taako still had to make sure he wasnt, like, full of fucked up ribs or something