I wish you would write a fanfic where Thor is a woman and it’s a coffee shop au between her and Valkyrie. Please?

batmanisagatewaydrug:

kazsou:

batmanisagatewaydrug:

so to be clear you want to take all the space viking aesthetic and interplay of magic and science and cross-dimensional heroics and the MONSTERS (my god the Thor movies have barely tapped the potential of those monsters) and the buckwild immortal royal family politics and then toss all that in the bin so Our Heroes can work for minimum wage in a starbucks

what if it’s a magic space-Viking starbucks

#iM JOKING PLS DONT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY

how can I not, though??? now we’re cooking with fire, cause this has:

• alien gangs putting aside their turf wars to sit on opposite sides of the shop, glowering at each other while they sip their frappes. it’s not an ideal arrangement but damn if the coffee here isn’t worth it. 
• customers dressed in t-shirts armed with laser blasters in holsters bumping shoulders with those in plate armor with swords strapped to their backs
• following that: out in the parking lot you’ll find everything from small personal spaceships to chariots pulled by enormous space-faring cats. 
• the view outside the window is just… stars. 
• Thor is the nice barista who comes up with fun trivia and remembers your special order; Valkyrie is the barista who bodily removes people from the store for committing heinous bathroom crimes.
• that could literally mean anything from using the bathroom to do drugs to spray painting graffiti that opens a dimensional portal, take your pick 
• “do y’all accept uuuuh cursed rubies as payment?” “… how cursed?”
• [cut to Thor and Valkyrie fighting off space pirate ghosts at closing time] “TOO FUCKING CURSED”
• they’ll literally close down the store at any random time to go chasing bad guys it’s a Mess
• *baristas casually greet you covered in blood like it’s no big*
• maybe it literally just drifts from one realm to another sometimes, like one minute they’re hovering in space over Xandar and the next they’re in Manhattan. surprise. 
• Loki is banned for life and there’s a picture of him behind the til to remind everyone, stamped with the reminder “even if he’s dead.” someone (Thor) has scrawled on a frantic “ESPECIALLY if he’s dead !!!”