sunsetconcert:

So in THIS post I mentioned how Kravitz hates Barry? And I finally got around to explaining it. Here we go.

It is about a few hours after the Hunger was finished for good, and Kravitz gets to chat with Lup and Barry. And he stops. And he looks closer. And he realizes: Goddamn it. It’s THIS Barry. And then Kravitz punches Barry in the face because SERVES YOU RIGHT ASSHOLE.

Kravitz meets Barry almost less than a month after Lucretia wipes everybody’s memories, and Barry just spends half of the encounter not even paying attention to him? At all? Like “Yeah yeah whatev I gots to go do some necromances bye dude” and it is SUPER infuriating. It’s the worst.

So Kravitz decides “I can take him” and attacks. Except no, he can’t, Barry is a literal century old magic user what the actual fuck are you doing Kravitz. So the next hour and a half are just Barry casually setting up a necromancy ritual around a murder attempt and eventually Barry just snaps his fingers and POP! Kravitz is banished back to the Astral Realm.

It is the MOST UNFAIR and he has WAY MORE SPELLS than a normal necromancer should and HE CAN DO MAGIC I’VE NEVER HEARD OF BEFORE and I HATE HIM SO MUCH MOOOOOM that is kravitz complaining to his boss i mean goth mom i mean boss

And that’s just the next nine years before canon starts? Just that one fight. Kravitz tries EVERYTHING but nothing works? Because, as was already stated, Barry is a multi-class wizard and a hundred years old and a lich and also just sort of absolutely murderous when it comes to finding his wife.

Kravitz ranting about this Bluejeans fella becomes a joke around the Reaper office, and a few people kind of think he has a crush? And it gets to the point where Barry is removed as a bounty because if somebody else got to kill Barry and not Kravitz there might actually be bloodshed.

And then the Raven Queen hires him. And it is INFURIATING on MULTIPLE LEVELS FOR MANY REASONS.

Pictured: Kravitz remembering Barry exists.

The first reason is that now Kravitz can’t actually kill Barry. This is a stupid reason but Barry just smiles and says “Hi Kravitz” and Kravitz can’t hit him because it would not be professional or nice and GODDAMN IT BARRY.

The second reason is that he half-suspects that Goth Mom Raven Queen only made Barry a Reaper so that he had a chance to “Add that Bluejoes boy to your dating band? Am I doing it right” because Goth Mom thinks Kravitz actually does have a crush on Barry? And also she doesn’t quite understand why this is such a big deal? Taako thinks it’s hilarious.

The third reason is that Barry is that annoying co-worker you have. You know the type. He works half as hard as you do but he gets better results. This is mostly because Barry is – as has been stated – a necromancer, and therefore knows more about the subject than most others and therefore spends like half the time on paperwork? It is still the worst.

Reason four is that Barry can be kind of an elitist asshole? Not even in a deliberate way or anything. But like, Barry is actually really competent in his field and is a good Reaper, he just. If you ever claim he doesn’t know something about his field of study he just gets really huffy? He rivals Taako in being a patronizing asshole when it comes to that. It kind of horrifies Barry himself but it makes Lup laugh so it can’t be too bad.

Spoiler: It is that bad and Lup is an awful awful person for encouraging it.

The last reason is that all of this is ENTIRELY ONE-SIDED. Like, Barry isn’t oblivious to it or anything but Kravitz was just like that one guy who showed up during a ritual once, kept Barry on his toes, not a bad guy. And that’s it. Not a nemesis or a rival or anything. He’s just a dude Barry met at a few rituals.

He gets a reason six after he and Taako get married and the reason is since Barry and Lup are married and Taako and Kravitz are married that technically makes Barry and Kravitz related? Kravitz cries for like a month.