shrineart:

uglywettiewrites:

bemusedlybespectacled:

batmanisagatewaydrug:

idyll-ism:

sorryiwasasleepagain:

blkbruja:

y’all need therapy. not girlfriends

Or they need a girlfriend that doesn’t mind listening and trying to help them work through their shit and defeat their fucking demons without asking them to pour out their soul to a stranger who is only listening because it’s their job. That’s the kind of shit you do for the people you love.

your partner is not your therapist. listening to your partner is one thing, but it is not their responsibility to help you work through your shit. that is on you.

one more time.

your partner is not your therapist.

also if I may hop onto this, I REALLY hate when people try to spin “therapists only listen because it’s their job” as a BAD thing. can you imagine if we tried to apply that to literally any other profession?

“why take your phone into the store to get it fixed? they don’t care about you, they’re only doing their job.”

“I don’t want to order a pizza. they’re not making it for me out of the goodness of their hearts, they’re only doing it because it’s their job.”

“why didn’t you just have your girlfriend do that surgery instead of going to a stranger who only saved your life because it’s their job?”

it’s their job because they are better equipped to do it than the other people in your life. jesus christ. 

also, if I may add: it’s not the therapist’s job to love you.

a lot – A LOT – of people conflate emotional vulnerability with love. they think that being open about your problems is something you only do with friends and family. so paying someone to be open with sounds wrong because it’s like paying someone to be your girlfriend or your mom.

but that’s fundamentally misunderstanding the point of a therapist.

the therapist’s job is to identify issues and help you develop methods to cope with them. that’s it. being open is necessary, not because they need to love you, but because you need to be honest if you want them to be able to accurately figure out what’s wrong. 

you don’t need to be in love with your doctor to tell them that you are having heart problems or unexplained pain. your lawyer doesn’t need to be part of your family for you to tell them your legal issues. it’s the same with your therapist – their job is to help, not to love.

BOOST

My fiance got me to the point of working with a therapist. He didn’t fix me. He came in knowing I was a broken. He signed up for this. And he helped me get to the appointments that got me stable. But the thing is, getting him helped but it wasn’t the SOLUTION. The solution was proper medication and therapy.

A romantic partner can’t fix you. They can help but they can’t fix it because it’s not their job, they’re not trained for it.