that-catholic-shinobi:

literary-potato:

literary-potato:

spillybun:

If your response to hearing that someone has a lot of kids is “wow, ever heard of birth control?” maybe you should grow up and learn to mind your own business instead of trying to take other people’s happiness away from them. As unimaginable as it may seem to you that parents actually love and enjoy their kids, the greatest joy in life for a lot of people is being a mom or dad.

Who are you to say that’s not a worthy calling or that they aren’t doing it right?

Other things that are not cool to say:

• “You know what causes that, right?”
• “Are you done?” or “You’re done now, right?”
• “Are they all yours?” 
• Any question about if the kids are all your biological offspring, adoptive status, foster status, and/or from the same father/mother
• “You should get cable.” (or a TV, or Netflix, or whatever)
• “You’ve been busy!” (or any other suggestive comments, gestures, facial expressions)
• If you’re speaking to a sibling of many children: literally anything about their parents having sex

It’s rude to badger people without kids about how they don’t have kids. It’s equally rude to badger people who have lots of kids about how many kids they have or how those kids got conceived. Mind your hecking business and don’t poke your nose in other people’s sex lives if they haven’t specifically invited you to discuss it.

Follow up post of POSITIVE things that parents of big families will often be happy to hear or see:

• If the kids are well-behaved, tell the parents that!
• If the (young) kids are cute, go ahead and comment on it!
• If there are young children or babies, engage them! Be nice! Smile! Play peekaboo with the baby!
• If there are older children helping to care for younger siblings, feel free to praise them for doing a good job or helping out!
• If you like seeing big families (or just kids in public spaces), feel free to tell them that!
• If you are also from a big family, feel free to tell them that! It’s a great shared experience & conversation starter
• If you’re in a public space where it’s appropriate for children to be present (church, a family restaurant, a library), the kids are being rowdy, and the parent is clearly trying to get their kids to behave with limited success, smile and make positive eye contact with the parent to let them know silently that you support them and think children have a right to exist in public spaces.

Big families face A LOT of judgmental stares and disapproving noises from people who think they shouldn’t exist or shouldn’t be visible. It doesn’t take a lot to help counter that – just a little smile or sympathetic eye contact.

Also, some neutral questions that are okay to ask:

• What’s the age range?
• How many boys/girls?
• Any twins?

These questions won’t make a multipara or grand-multipara’s day, but they’re not offensive and they’re reasonable small-talk, conversation-starter questions.

RESPECT AND LOVE BIG FAMILIES