When you just can’t love yourself, just work on giving yourself basic respect.
When you just can’t practice self care, aim for basic hygiene and keeping yourself alive.
When you just can’t have positive thoughts, focus on ignoring the negative ones.
When you just can’t quit those bad habits and unhealthy coping mechanisms, be sure to take care of yourself afterwards.
When you just can’t make yourself eat enough, aim for something three times a day, even if it’s something small.
When you just can’t stop binge eating, just do your best to forgive yourself and focus on something else instead of dwelling on it for any longer.
Not everyone is at a point where they can recover, and so thinking about recovery can be intimidating and make them shut down, because they just feel like they’re nowhere close to getting better so they might as well not bother. There needs to be more advice on dragging yourself through the days. Self care to the bare minimum. Aiming for “feeling okay with yourself” or “feeling less awful about yourself” rather than loving yourself. Baby steps.
Reminder that “tard” and all variations of it (“fucktard,” “libtard,” etc) are literally just a “PC” way of calling someone a r*t*rd and I’d really appreciate it if my mutuals stopped putting words like that on my dashboard.
The only exception being bastard which just means “you have no dad”
i’m watching a british youtuber’s birthday stream and an aussie viewer sent in a comment saying “why was he born so beautiful, why was he born at all? because he had no say in it, no say in it at all” which was received with confused existential horror, and this is how i just discovered that australian happy birthday songs are not universal
oops
do you not sing this in other countries?!?!??
NO we do not sing a lament for someone’s personal beauty wishing they’d never been born. That is some weird Greek tragedy shit.
Polish Birthday songs wish you 100 years then pressure you to drink.
Two people posing as a young home buying couple (they are a young couple, that part isn’t in dispute) are sending mass letters to houses in entire neighborhoods talking about how much they love the house and want to buy it. For those who have sold, the couple have then flipped the properties, turning massive profits and displacing whole neighborhoods so that rich white newcomers can move in. Watch out for Rarebird!!!
The couple denies doing anything wrong.
What Literally what There isn’t anything wrong with that, people flip houses all the time and the people that are “displaced” chose to sell their houses and were compensated for it. There is nothing wrong with that.
HI YOU ARE MORALLY BANKRUPT AND DON’T UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT PF GENTRIFICATION BYE
No offense, but can you explain to me why this is a bad thing? I am not disagreeing, I just don’t understand. Thank you.
Ugh this is so hard.
Okay, in Portland you’re talking about a historically very racist city that’s segregated low income families and families of colour into certain specific areas–the Laurelhurst arches, for example, are the borders within which no black people could own houses or businesses. Research the Vanport Flood.
So in the early 2000s an influx of poor white queers started in the poor people of colour areas. We couldn’t afford better, and we wanted to be around other queers. The schools are underfunded, there are still shootings, long term residents couldn’t get home improvement loans or refinance their mortgages, and when white queers made the neighborhoods edgy instead of “the ghetto” white bridge and tunnel tourists wanted a piece of it and slowly began infiltrating. Literally pushing out businesses of colour like the Native American Youth Association couldn’t afford the new raised rent on their building and was forced out for a business called, literally, “hovel” which sold overpriced knickknacks to the new white residents moving into the new apartment buildings. At first the apartment buildings were built on vacant lots, which isn’t as bad as displacing actual residents, but it drives property taxes up while the banks still refused to refinance or offer home improvement loans to long term residents of colour and low income residents.
The businesses moving in to the neighbourhoods are to a one too expensive for low income residents to access, so when people talk about “urban renewal”, the renewal happening is happening for the specific newcomer population of rich white people. The locals aren’t able to access these new services like yoga studios, expensive hipster bars, expensive urban coops.
And then there’s the school factor: newcomers aren’t invested in local schools and overwhelmingly tend to send their children to charter schools out of the neighbourhood, so a strong advocating force for schools is thus denied to locals.
As the process continues, locals get priced out. They can’t afford their property taxes, rents get deliberately upped (this happened to me twice), people get evicted with no notice so that landlords can remodel or simply sell the lots for money.
In my old neighbourhood an old empty lot that locals had turned into a park was sold to become a giant overpriced apartment building.
The family across the street sold because they couldn’t afford the new taxes.
Three blocks away a landlord kicked out three generations of a family who’d been living in a house divided into three apartments to sell to a developer who made a four story luxury condo building.
The last black owned business in the area was forced out to become a giant leed certified business office.
A family owned ethiopian restaurant was deliberately driven closed because the new developer didn’t think the prospective white residents of his new buildings would “want to smell that kind of food.” But the piss smell of the local microbrewery is so aromatic, amirite?
A local laundromat was driven out of business when a hipster laundromat with wifi, coffee, and wine moved in four blocks away.
What people like Rarebird are doing is facilitating this process without giving back to the community.
Flipping is, definitionally, paying undermarket value for a product to remodel it and sell it for more.
They aren’t paying long term locals what their properties are worth, taking advantage of the high taxes white people have brought while underpaying to buy these places they then profit off of.
This is part of a larger problem where rich people buy multiple condos and apartments and then never live in them, preferring to Airbnb them occasionally for a profit.
There is no corresponding housing being build for the people who are displaced.
None of these buildings accept section 8 and mandatory inclusionary income zoning failed, which means there are no affordable apartments in any of these new buildings.
Rents have risen in Portland six times faster than anywhere else, while we remain largely a poor state, with only Nike, Adidas, and Intel drawing in new workers, and these workers are not the long term residents who’ve been forced out by the greed of the incoming whites for local flavour.
The only geographic locations with prices comparable to the old North and Northeast Portland are incredibly far out, areas without good public transit, and usually without sidewalks.
57% of our school children are on free lunch this summer because their parents CAN’T AFFORD TO FEED THEM.
Over 800 families are on ONE WAITLIST for shelter.
Our dv and homeless shelters for single people are full.
And Rarebird is buying people out, increasing rents, not giving back to the community in any way, and taking their profits and reinvesting them into repeating the process over and over and over again?
And people don’t see a problem with this?
This is the racism just under the surface that so many white people will never even think about.
this is a really good explanation of gentrification, please read it!!
The only appropriate way to respond when the fuckboy you’ve just recently started talking to starts going “Lol my wife/girlfriend is jealous of you and I don’t know why, tee hee”
Are you ready?
Block him.
Block his wife / girlfriend.
Take the wind right out of those sails.
You don’t have to “convince” anybody that “you mean no harm.” You just don’t have to deal with this insecure petty bullshit. Whether he’s a piece of shit who’s looking to cheat or she’s a control freak who is insecure and pushing him away is irrelevant. Remove yourself from those people and those lives while they’re still strangers and acquaintances. You don’t owe them a goddamned explanation. Problem solved. Go make new friends.
Okay but the number of reblogs and likes this got in only a few hours is so reassuring like I’m so happy there are people out there who actually KNOW THIS and like, know better. That is a huge relief.
I wish I had this wisdom several years ago.
Ya have it now. Don’t waste time on fuckboys playing head games or get yourself caught in the middle of a relationship dispute that you literally have nothing to do with and want no part of. Laugh right in their faces and then cut ties forever.
how to compliment someone without seeming like a fucking creep. an easy how to guide:
a) compliment them on something that they can change. don’t say ‘nice tits janice’, say something like ‘your shoes are rad’ or ‘your hair looks great’.
b) don’t be a fucking creep. if it’d weird you out if it was said to you, then it’s likely too creepy to say to someone else.
EASY.
also this pic is super strawmanny and gross. it is not hard to not be a creep.
My most favorite compliment I’ve ever gotten I got from a man who was a complete stranger who drove up next to me while I was walking home at 9pm in the night:
I guess he saw me speed walk, overtake, then completely outpace some really tall business man in front of me (who had also increased his speed to overtake me back but failed).
Anyway this complete stranger doing the exact stereotype of what a man shouldn’t ever do drove up next to me, rolled down the window and said:
“That is the fastest damn walking I’ve ever seen. Ma’am, you…have the soul…of a bicycle.”
Then rolled up his window and drove away.
He didn’t creepily drive behind me, he drove regular speed and came to a rolling stop. He didn’t roll down his window all the way or stick his head out, he said his piece quickly and with a great amount of awe and respect, then he didn’t act like he needed a response from me or expect anything from the compliment. And then he left as quickly as he came. The compliment was so good and politely delivered that I’ve thought about it with amusement for over a year.
It is NOT HARD to not be threatening to women. Those who can’t manage it are sus as hell.
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